Peaceful Parent, Happy Siblings de Laura Markham

Date de parution : 05.2015
Format : Broché
Nombre de pages : 352
Résumé : Popular parenting expert Dr. Laura Markham, author of PEACEFUL PARENTS, HAPPY SIBLINGS, has garnered a large and loyal readership around the world, thanks to her simple, insightful approach that values the emotional bond between parent and child. As any parent of more than one child knows, though, it's challenging for even the most engaged parent to maintain harmony and a strong connection when competition, tempers, and irritation run high. In this highly anticipated guide, Dr. Markham presents simple yet powerful ways to cut through the squabbling and foster a loving, supportive bond between siblings, while giving each child the vital connection that he or she needs. PEACEFUL PARENT, HAPPY SIBLINGS includes hands-on, research-based advice on: • Creating deep connections with each one of your children, so that each truly believes that you couldn't possibly love anyone else more. • Fostering a loving family culture that encourages laughter and minimizes fighting • Teaching your children healthy emotional self-management and conflict resolution skills-so that they can work things out with each other, get their own needs met and respect the needs of others • Helping your kids forge a close lifelong sibling bond-as well as the relationship skills they will need for a life of healthy friendships, work relationships, and eventually their own family bonds. “It’s Not Fair!”   It drives parents crazy. You do your best to be fair, but your children insist on competing over everything ! Why?    ·      A sense of fairness is innate. Research shows that even babies have some concept of parity. It seems to be one of the human mind’s built-in survival mechanisms to help us live in groups.    ·      They desperately want to know that you love them more than anyone else, so their survival is ensured. This is genetically programmed. Their genes want to know whom you would save if a tiger came marauding. If you love their sibling more, they’re toast.   ·      Children aren’t so different from adults. The entire legal profession is based on the human desire to be treated fairly. The problem isn’t that your children want fairness. It’s that they think you’re supposed to be Solomon and dole it out, but there’s no way both children will feel fairly treated by any solution any parent can devise. That’s not just because we’re fallible humans, but because children in search of fairness are motivated by fear, which is always irrational. Back to the previous point: They need proof the sibling isn’t being favored, to ensure their survival.   So how can you deal with the whole concept of fairness without going crazy, and in a way that helps your children feel more secure and less competitive?   1.     Empathize . Your child has big feelings about this issue. After all, at an unconscious level this is about her survival. Trying to argue your child out of her feelings won’t work. Acknowledging them will help her feel understood, which means she can stop fighting. This is the...